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The 10 Most Important Things You Must Do Quickly After Separation

There are many things you must do after marriage separation. But, there are 10 things you must absolutely do as soon as the separation begins! We've listed them below:

1. Determine All of Your Assets

  • Identify all assets and liabilities that were created during your marriage.

  • All financial documents, such as tax returns W2's, bank and brokerage statements should be copied and placed in a safe place.

  • Doing so, forms the basis for all future legal proceedings related to the distribution of your marital estate.

2. Think Carefully Before Using Emails, Texting, Social Media, or Making Phone Calls to Your Ex:

  • It's very easy to record or duplicate emails, texts and any type of social media. Phone calls can also be recorded. Anything duplicated or recorded can also be used in court.

  • Beware of these dangers and remember what may happen the next time you vent your anger or frustration at your ex-partner.

  • It's much smarter to follow these "smart" techniques:

  • Always be professional and courteous in all emails and messages.

  • Do not say anything or write anything you would not want a Judge to read or hear. This includes phone calls, emails, texts and all social media.

  • Never say anything when you're angry. Resist "Reply" button and wait until you've calmed down, even if it's a couple of days before you respond.

  • Do not post pictures of your children on public spaces on the web, such as Facebook or Myspace.

3. Change Your Will

  • Changing your will is especially important if you've previously done reciprocal Wills and Powers of Attorney.

  • In a reciprocal will, if a spouse dies before the divorce, the estranged spouse will inherit the entire estate of the deceased spouse because they were still "married." (subject to the rights of the children.)

  • This can also apply to Superannuation benefits, known as a company pension plans.

4. All of Your Death Benefits Should be Changed

  • If your spouse is listed as a beneficiary on any of your death benefits, and immediate change is necessary.

  • Where possible, we suggest that you take the steps necessary to pass these benefits to your children or your estate in the event of your death.

5. Take Care of Yourself

  • Separation is emotional and a process that frequently results in multiple complicated emotions to deal with.

  • Expect to feel angry, cry often and feel confused. These are just some of the may feelings often experienced.

  • The healing process is as complex as the separation, so these feelings are to be expected.

  • Try finding healthy ways to manage your emotions to get through the healing process.

  • Try talking to friends and loved ones you trust.

  • Take care of your physical self by eating well and exercising.

  • Even though you may feel like never leaving your bed, you must push yourself, if necessary, and face your emotions and live.

6. Choose Your Support Network carefully

  • Your lifeline during the separation is your Support Network. It should be carefully chosen.

  • Steer clear of those who just want to gossip or tell you what to do.

  • Knowing that you can lean on good family and finds makes everything much easier to handle.

  • Confide in those you know you can trust and never be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

  • And, remember to keep your separation off social media. This is between you and your spouse only.

  • And, it's sometimes a good idea to contact a professional therapist. They are good "listeners" and can help you work through your deeper issues.

7. Your Kids Should Be at the TOP of Your Agenda

  • Put your children first in your life.

  • It's important to keep your children's routine as normal as possible.

  • To avoid arguments with your spouse, schedule separate times for each of you to be with your children.

  • Stay involved (or get involved) in your children's school, sports, and social activities.

  • Never "badmouth" your spouse around your children.

8. Consider Changing Your Postal Address

  • If there is concern that your former partner will read your mail, obtain a postal box or redirect your mail to a friend or family member.

9. Keep a Diary

  • Recounting events, including conversations with your former partner, are difficult to remember, especially dates and times.

  • You may need to provide this information to your lawyer, so maintaining a diary is excellent in helping you with these types of tasks.

10. Consult with a Lawyer

  • Your lawyer needs detailed information from you in order to give you the most helpful advice.

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